Part 1: Posted on May 26, 2020
To my child's father, congrats saimong bagong baby. Answered prayer na baby boy no? I'm happy that you're happy with the person na imong gi pili kesa samoa. Congrats on your new family circle.
I remember na ninghilak ka sa harapan sa lawyer kay ngano ka kasuhan na studyante pa ka ug wa pakay ikasustento, funny no? na ingon nimo di ka gsto mag salig saimong parents kay walang wala mo. Pero 4/5 months na diay buntis ang babae ato. Not knowing na October palang nakig live in nakas babae nimo ug nakabuntis nakag lain. You were screaming for respect na iconsider na wala kay work, wala paka naka graduate, walang wala pajud mo. Even if sakit kaayo maminaw ug makita na ikaw sge rakag laag laag, inom inom, enjoy enjoy kauban imo barkada ug ang babae. Pero kami mag ina nimo halos di na gani ka mangamusta, once a month ra pajud mubisita unsahay 2months di magparamdam. Pero ako? I sacrificed everything for our daughter, pero wala ako japon dautan.
Kadumdom ka? 4 months after ko nanganak, gi pasa pasa nimo pic satong anak saying na anak tos imong coach, pero gipasaylo tika. Kadumdom ka? Tong buntis palang ko perti nakog text ug tawag nimo unsa imo plano pero ingnan rako nimog labad ko sa ulo, na di ko magsinamok. Basig nakalimot nakag 8 months na ta ning amin na buntis ko, 2 weeks after nanganak nako. Pero gipasaylo tika diba? Funny na perti nimo ka lalake sa laing babae, pero para samoa duha mag ina ni halos di ka magparamdam. Nya karon na naka buntis kag lain ayha paka mag matngon? Unsaon pag tarong sakong batasan kung iresponsable kay ka na pagka amahan. Ni halos di na mutubag imo pamilya skoa, imong pinsan naulaw kay ingana daw ka sa amoa mag ina. Ingnan pako nimog mag bago ko? Mag bago para? Para balikan mi mag ina? If love mi nimo di na kana imo basehan! Dili nimo kailangan mangitag lain para pun-on ang kamingaw smoa! Balik balikon nako na di ko limpyo, ug wala ko nagpaka limpyo. Pero ikaw unta mag huna huna ka kung nagpaka amahan baka satong anak, bago ka mangdaot sakoa.
If ma read ni nimo, please do know how hard I've been praying na ma forgive na tika. Pero I think this is the right time para ilayo na ang bata saimoha. Dili nako kaya makig siksikan akng anak, kay babae ko and I know na kanang babae nimo masuya pud nag tagdon nimo atong anak samot nag naa namoy anak nnyo. Mao na miski kami una ning abot, kami nlg mu give way. Mudako akong anak na pareho nako, way ilhon na papa.
Congrats! Nagpaka papa naka miski atong anak na babae mudako na way papa. Congrats! Finally nag mature naka sa laing tao pero samoa mag ina igo ra nimo hilakan na pobre ka. Congrats! Finally gi angkon na nimo imo responsibility. Congrats sainyong answered prayer, dawaton nako ang realidad miski luoy kaayo akong anak.
Thank you. Please tarunga sila ha? Kay kami imo ra nimo mi gipasagdan.
-Delubyo
Part 2: Posted on June 29, 2020
Hi! Since it's father's day / dad's month, and I can't greet you a father's day greeting so maybe I'd confess here yet again. I know mabasa mani nimo. Long post ahead.
It's been almost a year since we broke up, since tong nabal-an nako na ga storya mo. And yes we have different lives now, syempre naa nagud kay laing pamilya napud diba? Hehe.
It angers me alot, knowing that I had to go through so much emotional abuse saimoha last mid year 2019 through texts na mura bag wala jud ko nagpaka mama satong anak, samtang ikaw you were out there having the time of your life. You were screaming na irespeto tika na pobre ka ug graduating paka, pero kita jd ko na perti nmo lingawa sge inom,laag,sine,beach,etc. I never told you how many times I broke down and cried, kay kapoy na kaayo ko pero wala koy choice. Wala koy choice kay dili ka maasahan na amahan satong anak. Naulawan, gina blackmail, gina ingnan ug miski unsang harsh words, pati pamilya nako imo gina drag down. Pero ikaw? Ni isa ka tabang wala kay gihatag smoa mag ina.
Funny kaayo na I had to juggle between my studies and motherhood. And to tell you honestly, ikaw ang sulod skong prayer journal. I've been praying na unta mapasaylo na tika, kay dili lalim na grabe nako ka hugaw saimo panan.aw na ako pay pavictim, na mura bag wla ko nagkayod pra satong anak samtang ikaw sge rakag inom,laag,beach. I mean hey yes, naa koy mga sala. Wala nako na gina kalimod, but this an entire different story.
This isn't about our past anymore, for pete's sake may anak kana. Ug naa napuy padulong na isa, gikan saimo bago. Wala pa gani ka nakasustento sakoa, mangita npd kag laing sustentohan. Diba poor ka? Mao bya imo ingon. But so much for the drama, naa naman na draa.
Gitulon nako tanang pakaulaw, harsh words, ug imo pagpasagdan satong anak. Please I don't want to hear people say na gimingaw kas anak nato, kay you were never a father to her and you never treated her as your own daughter too. Nevertheless, happy father's day saimong bagong anak. Congrats buo iyang mama ug papa, pero happy athletics day pud saimo for running away from your responsibility sakoa. Congrats for finally being a man, sa lain.
Fyi, I'm not hoping anymore. I hate you sobra, and dili naka welcome sa kinabuhi saimong anak nako. Antusi rag mag sugat pata sa city, soon enough maka graduate ko mag migrate mi sa bata.
Cebuana
Part 3: Posted on October 14 2020
To my child's father, congrats saimong bagong baby. Answered prayer na baby boy no? I'm happy that you're happy with the person na imong gi pili kesa samoa. Congrats on your new family circle.
I remember na ninghilak ka sa harapan sa lawyer kay ngano ka kasuhan na studyante pa ka ug wa pakay ikasustento, funny no? na ingon nimo di ka gsto mag salig saimong parents kay walang wala mo. Pero 4/5 months na diay buntis ang babae ato. Not knowing na October palang nakig live in nakas babae nimo ug nakabuntis nakag lain. You were screaming for respect na iconsider na wala kay work, wala paka naka graduate, walang wala pajud mo. Even if sakit kaayo maminaw ug makita na ikaw sge rakag laag laag, inom inom, enjoy enjoy kauban imo barkada ug ang babae. Pero kami mag ina nimo halos di na gani ka mangamusta, once a month ra pajud mubisita unsahay 2months di magparamdam. Pero ako? I sacrificed everything for our daughter, pero wala ako japon dautan.
Kadumdom ka? 4 months after ko nanganak, gi pasa pasa nimo pic satong anak saying na anak tos imong coach, pero gipasaylo tika. Kadumdom ka? Tong buntis palang ko perti nakog text ug tawag nimo unsa imo plano pero ingnan rako nimog labad ko sa ulo, na di ko magsinamok. Basig nakalimot nakag 8 months na ta ning amin na buntis ko, 2 weeks after nanganak nako. Pero gipasaylo tika diba? Funny na perti nimo ka lalake sa laing babae, pero para samoa duha mag ina ni halos di ka magparamdam. Nya karon na naka buntis kag lain ayha paka mag matngon? Unsaon pag tarong sakong batasan kung iresponsable kay ka na pagka amahan. Ni halos di na mutubag imo pamilya skoa, imong pinsan naulaw kay ingana daw ka sa amoa mag ina. Ingnan pako nimog mag bago ko? Mag bago para? Para balikan mi mag ina? If love mi nimo di na kana imo basehan! Dili nimo kailangan mangitag lain para pun-on ang kamingaw smoa! Balik balikon nako na di ko limpyo, ug wala ko nagpaka limpyo. Pero ikaw unta mag huna huna ka kung nagpaka amahan baka satong anak, bago ka mangdaot sakoa.
If ma read ni nimo, please do know how hard I've been praying na ma forgive na tika. Pero I think this is the right time para ilayo na ang bata saimoha. Dili nako kaya makig siksikan akng anak, kay babae ko and I know na kanang babae nimo masuya pud nag tagdon nimo atong anak samot nag naa namoy anak nnyo. Mao na miski kami una ning abot, kami nlg mu give way. Mudako akong anak na pareho nako, way ilhon na papa.
Congrats! Nagpaka papa naka miski atong anak na babae mudako na way papa. Congrats! Finally nag mature naka sa laing tao pero samoa mag ina igo ra nimo hilakan na pobre ka. Congrats! Finally gi angkon na nimo imo responsibility. Congrats sainyong answered prayer, dawaton nako ang realidad miski luoy kaayo akong anak.
Thank you. Please tarunga sila ha? Kay kami imo ra nimo mi gipasagdan.
-Delubyo
Latest updates:
Hi! Wow! It has been a year since I last sent my confessions pala. A lot has changed sa one year na wala ko nag send diri. Anyways, musta namo? If you have read my last three confessions, you can read how I am in pain gyud. Pero karon, I am hyper and still gaskwela japon mski gabantay bata. I just want to share something kay pissed off jud kay ko lately.
December 2020 – While scrolling sa Instagram nay message request nasaag sakoa ug message to saiya uyab nako. She said sorry if ever she caused me pain daw blabla, we had a conversation and I told her na di pajud ko ready magpasaylo mski pag naa namiy separate lives kay the trauma that I’ve been through was not easy.
October 2021 - diri jud nag sugod ang tanan kalbayro. His current girlfriend messaged me and told me na unta daw maghunong nako hilabot nila ug di na ko magcreate ug dummy accounts pra dautan akoa ex. Gi ingnan ko niya na to be happy for her, but I simply told her na happy ko na he stood up for his responsibilities but her happiness does not matter to me and I just simply don’t care. She told me na naa daw dummy account ga sigeg message niya saying na GABINUANG AKOA EX. Which is in all honesty I don’t care, I even sent her proofs sa akoang accounts and she told me “ It’s okay wala may kawatan mutug-an”. Grabe nisurok akoa dugo pagsulti niya to the point na gi ingnan nako akoa ex na ug unsa may mahitabo nila wakoy labot gyud so di lang unta ko labot laboton. My friends told me na that woman kept putting mydays about karma, healing and happiness daw and ga myday ug padungog na posts. I just simply said pasagdaa kay di mutuo mski gasulti kog tinuod.
November 2021
– November is a very remarkable month sakoa, kay 4 years ago I planned out to commit suicide due to mental health problems. Ga huwat rajud ko ato mugraduate ug highschool. I posted something on my blog to remember na it has been 4 years since I wanted to die and you know what unsay gihimo SAIYANG UYAB? GI SLUTSHAME KO NIYA ON MY PERSONAL BLOG. She told me na ug wako namiga ug pobre edi unta wala dw ko ga rant rant, ug gi ingnan pako niyag suya daw ko kay dili daw 10k sustento na akoa madawat mao ga binatasan ko. As if naman nadato pud sila na same guy ramay nakabuntis samoa, the difference is SIYA ANG GIPANINDIGAN. Mura ganig sala nako why MY CHILD DESERVES SUSTENTO? Isa pa WALA KO GA REKLAMO SA AMOUNT NA GINAHATAG SAIYA BANA BANA KAY UNA SA TANAN KASABOT KO NA HE COMES FROM A POOR FAMILY UG DUHA MI IYA NABUNTISAN. Nayaw**n jd ko kay PERSONAL BLOG man gud to nako nya maka energy syag istalk ko pra dautan ko and she keeps on insisting na akoa ng dummy account na ga sigeg pandaot saiyang uyab.
- 2 weeks after that, the dummy account whom she presumed was me SENT ME A MESSAGE and asked if I am connected with the guy (ex’s name) and told her no, ex nako wala koy labot nila. I told the dummy account na undangan na kay ako prmi gina dutdut na nangdaot dw nila. Nasurok gyud ko kay the dummy account told me na “sige man gud sya hisgot saimo pangalan, mao gichat ka namo kay curious mi kinsa ka.” GRABE KA BASTOS JUD SA GINA DAMAY DAMAY KO? I TOLD HER PLENTY OF TIMES NA DLI TO AKO UG WALA KOY LABOT PERO STILL AKOA NAME IYA GINA DRAG DOWN. NI WALA KOY IDEA UG UNSAY BINUHATAN SKOA EX, I AM BUSY WITH MY ACADEMICS SO NGANONG MAGKAPANAHON PAKOG PANDAOT.
So here’s my message to you and to your girl:
Dear Him and Her,
Congratulations! Daghan kaayog chismoso ug chismosa sa kalibutan na miski pag I’m trying my best kay akoang past japon ila makita sakoa. Congrats kay maminyoay na daw kuno mo, and I am happy na you stood up for your responsibilities saimo partner ug anak bahalag ako single mom. Pero palihog pahangyua ko, ug unsa may muabot na problema nnyo, ug naa may mandaot ninyo, PALIHOG AYAW AKOA PANGALAN ANG BITBITA PABABA. Naningkamot ko manginabuhi ug mag skwela para maka graduate ko saon nalang gi ingnan bya ko ninyog “Mabuntis ra japon ka balik” No?. Hapit nako maka graduate, 3 semesters nalang.
Busy jud kay ko sa tinuod lang, so why would I bother to make new accounts to ruin your relationship? I honestly don’t care what the universe will give back to you both. Lastly, don’t worry kay after I graduate and find a job you will no longer feel obligated to send me money kay kaya na nako. Tutal mas kailangan sainyo anak ang kwarta ninyo since “pobre” bya mo ug nagpabuntis bya kog “pobre” maong pasensya if dagdag sa gastuson akoa anak sainyong budget “magpamilya”.
No hard feelings, I don’t care ug unsa may mahitabo ninyo. Maminyo man mo, magka anak ug isa ka basketball team or muabroad, LIVE YOUR LIFE. Pero please when something happens, when similar situation happens, PLEASE DO NOT DRAG MY NAME DOWN. I may have committed mistakes in the past, YES I WAS HURT NA NABILIN MI SAKONG ANAK SA ERE. Pero ayaw pud ninyo ipa feel sakoa na dili namo deserve ni baby ang happiness na ihatag sa Ginoo sa amoa. Again, congrats. Wala koy labot if continue mo mag assume na tanang dummy accounts na ga chat ninyo is akoa basta kay GOD KNOWS na dili to ako kay BUSY ko.
Delubyo
No comments:
Post a Comment