Ang Bestfriend Sa Akong Uyab

Hi sa tanang readers and admin aning UCnian Freedom Board. Di ko sa UC gaeskwela and di sad ko taga cebu. In short visitor ra ko ani nga page. Ubay2 nasad akong nabasahan nga mga confession diri and since wala ko gitapol ug type rong panahona and nakuhanahuna kos mga NAKARAAN I decided to share my story bisan pag naay possibility nga ang makabasa kay maglagot nako. Just maybe hahaha So ako diay si Caren (not my real name. This is to avoid being BISTO hahaha) I am the type of person nga dali kaayo nimong masuod especially ug tabian ka and dili arte. Di ko tantong gwapa ug sexy pero blessed for having a good-looking and responsible boyfriend. When I say good-looking di na sya kay gwapo ra gamay, gwapo jud dako hahaha. Let's call him Mort since fave kaayo niya ng movie nga Mortdecai. Humana ni syag eskwela and already a registered nurse. Gwapo kaayo's Mort everytime magsuot na syas iyang uniform. Ako gani na syang kantahan ug beautiful in white hahaha. Mort is not my first love and I'm not that dumb to say that he is the last person i'm going to love. We have to be practical. If we love someone let's just love them but let's be wise enough to think that nothing last forever especially if it's not meant to be. Pero happy ko kay manug 2 years na among relasyon ni Mort. Bisan ug sigeg away, bulag-balik and both busy, getting stronger japon ming duha. Kani man gud si Mort pang-boyfriend material jud kaayo ba. Mahigugmaon sa iyang pamilya, buotan with a twist of strikto nga may pagkabugoy, responsable, mutug-an sa tinuod nga namakak sya usahay, ug lastly dili garaon. Maong inlove kaayo ko niya bisag wala na kaayo mi oras sa usag-usa sukad nga nakatrabaho siya. Imagine, sa una kay late night calls and non-stop jud ang textsanay bisan pag klase pagka-ugma pero since na-nurse siya taas na kaayo ng usa ka oras namong tawaganay. Among textsanay sa usa ka adlaw kay puro ra ""kaon na. Amping dinha babe."" Dili nasad ko niya pirmi mahatod sa balay. Usahay ra tawon ug makalugar jud sya. Bisan gani ug day-off niya igo ra mi makalaag kadali kay kana laging kapoy sad tawon si Mort ug kinahanglan sad ug pahuway. Niprangka man jud ko niya atong wala pa ko ka-adjust nga lisod jud among sitwasyon pero iya kong gi-motivate nga di jud mu-give up no matter what. Nadugayan naanad nalang ko. Di na gani ko masakitan ug mangutana among circle of friends ni Mort kung kami pa ba kay wala na daw mi nila nakita together. Di sad mi tig-post about us sa social media. Well, usahay ug maayo kaayo ang mood naay sya ang mupost ug pictures namo usahay sad akoy mupost ug pictures namong duha. But we do that very often rajud. I don't know, I guess we just like to keep our relationship in private. Dako sad kaayo mi ug salig sa usa'g-usa. His phone and mine has no password, I swear! Hahaha. We don't do things such as giving passwords sa among FB account nga usually mao ang ginabuhat sa manag-uyab. We both value privacy man gud. Temptations are always ahead of us pero naa na namo ug magpadala mi ana samot nas Mort kay daghan kaayo na sya ug admirers. I'll be a total crap kung muingon ko nga never nako syang gidudahan. Ofcourse I did pero in the end he can still prove that he is worth trusting for. Pirmi kong magselos but we settle it before we go to bed. Di man gud ko ganahan anang ako rang itago akong mga kalagot or unsa pa dinha. Uyab mi so he deserve to know everything that has something to do about our relationship. On the other hand, Mort is someone who easily get jealous when i'm with a guy he doesn't know. Bisan pag classmate ra nako. Unya basta baya gaeskwela uso kaayo ng group pictures nga pinakalit. Naa juy makatupad ko usahay sa akong classmate nga laki sa picture unya pag-upload nga nakatag ko dayon makit-an sa usa, both on sms ug sa akong messenger mu-appear jud ni, "who's he?" And he'll be mad for a day or two. Yeah! Ingana sya kalisod amohon basta magselos. Busy man gud pud nuan sya so bisan pag makigtalk ko niya di man japon pwede kay he's on duty. Ang akong ginabuhat consistent rajud na akong pagtext niya kay ug makalugar na sya ug di na aburido iyang utok sya man na mismo muadtos balay para i-settle among problema. I am really blessed to have Mort as my boyfriend. Sa tanang kalisod ug struggle nga among naagian gatoo jud kog kami na not until I met Roy, Mort's bestfriend. Supposed to be graduate najud unta si Roy ug gatarong rajud syag eskwela kay according to Mort arangan daw ug utok si Roy galing kay na-adik anang drag race. Ni-decide ang parents ni Roy nga papuy-on sya diri sa iyang tita sa ****** and papadayonon ug eskwela after he almost died because of drag race. Wala syay choice kay iyang daddy na man jud ang ni-desisyon. And his dad is kinda scary daw kung maglagot. Atong una namong kita ni Roy naa pay ebidensya sa iyang nawong ug kamot from the accident. Pero wala mi nagkita nga kami rang duha ha. It happened nga nagkuyog ming Mort and nakigkita si Roy kay magpatabang syag pa-enroll. Kay ug di sya kuyugan ni Mort iya man tita ang mukuyog niya which Roy doesn't want to kay it's very uncomfortable daw nga ang ulitawo ginikuyugan pa ug tita pa-enroll. Hahahaha Atol to nga naa sad adtoan si Mort so di niya makuyogan si Roy. Mort asked me a favor and it's to help his bestfriend. Bisan pag awkward kay mao pay una namong kita ni Roy wala ko nibalibad. Roy even refused kay basin daw ug nakadisturbo ra sya nako but I know he just find it awkward too. But at the end, I granted Mort's favor. Gitabangan nako si Roy ug paenroll. Dali raming nahuman kay kato nga week is not for enrollment na man gud unta. Editing of subjects nalang dapat. Di na ko mu-elaborate kay nothing special happened that time man. FF. Hectic nasad ang akong sched kay kini laging graduating ta. Most of my classmates before nga masugata nako everywhere muingon jud nga I lose weight a lot. I really have less time to eat. Mas na-busy na gani ko kaysa ni Mort. Ug kung sa una naa pay 1 hour nga magka-talk mi through phone call kada gabie karon nilala najud. Magkita mi once or twice a week nalang. Di sad mi maka-date kay di na magtugma among free time. Nastress gani ko atong time nga niingon syang naay ni-offer niya ug work somewhere nga layo diris Negros. I didn't stop him nor I told him to accept the offer. Wa ko ni-decide kay di ko ganahan magmahay sa akong desisyon. Call me selfish but I was relieved when he told me he's not leaving. Wala na gani mi oras sa usag-usa nga duol rami how much more kung lagyo na diba? I do always miss him but there's nothing I can do. Mag-antos sa ko kay gamay nalang jud maka-graduate na ko. Pwede na kong mag-propose ni Mort. Hahahahaha! And oh, si Roy. We gotten closer. There are times nga magkakuyog mi ug kaon. I think it's not coincidence. Feeling nako gipangayuan syag pabor ni Mort to take care of me in behalf of him kay si Roy na ang muremind nako to take my vitamis which I really forgot to take when no one reminds me to. Everytime magkuyog ming Roy we just talk about small things. We usually don't talk about anything private or sensitive things. Pero most of the time among topic kay about drag racing. Makita jud nako how happy he is kung mag-istorya sya about anang iyang PASSION daw. He said he missed driving in full speed. Kana daw pag BROOM BROOM sa motor asta ang baho sa gasolina kay gimingaw daw sya. Pero pareha nako mag-antos sa sya for the mean time. Mu-eskwela daw sya peacefully kay ana daw iyang daddy ug maka-graduate na sya he's free to do things he like. Days went on and went on and first semester is almost done. Na-notice sad nako nga straight two weeks na ming sige ug kuyog ni Roy. Manghulam pa na syag motor sa iyang amigo kay ihatod kog pauli. Mas na-appreciate nako ang presence ni Roy. Murag he fills the hole in my life for being my friend. Ang sungog2 di man jud na malikayan samot na kay mga yamuhat kaayo ang barkada ni Roy. Well kabalo na man na sila nga naa na koy uyab pero trip rajud nilang sunlogon ming duha. FF. Nagka-time jud ming Mort nga mag-date after a long time. Yes I was happy pero nadisappoint kos akong self kay akong gicompare akong happiness kung si Roy akong kuyog. Maybe I was just use of seeing Roy maong naing-ato ko. So to distract myself gipangutana laman nako si Mort ug naa ba syay gipangayong favor ni Roy. Mort said he did pero na shock ko kay ang pagremind ras pag-take nakos vitamins ang pabor nga iyang gipangayong Roy. So ang paghulat, paghatod ug ang pagkuyog nako kada magtuon ko kay gibuhat ni Roy by his own will? Why would he? Is it because i'm his bestfriend's girlfriend? Damn! After that day di na ko mahimutang. Ug magkuyog ming Roy bothered kaayo ko sa iyang actions and I know it's wrong pero akong ginahatagan ug meaning iyang pag-care ug pagka-thoughtful. What's worst is that i'm getting used of him doing sweet stuffs for me. I can even survive a week without Mort. I mean di na ko makahunahuna ug text or tawag ni Mort kung dili sya ang muuna. Mas ma-excite pa ko ug si Roy ang manawag or mutext nako. Yes, maconsider na ni nga ga-cheat kos akong boyfriend mao bitaw nga nagsugod ko ug iwas ni Roy. Mangita kog paagi aron di rajud ko niya mahatod pauli or magkadungan mi ug kaon. But he is very persistent. Kana bang mu-appear ra sya ug kalit out of nowhere. And as a girl, wala nako napugngan akong self nga mainlove ni Roy. He's doing stuffs that Mort should be doing. Pirmi nako syang makita and makuyog so di jud nako ma-blame akong self nga na-fall ko niya. I am not blaming Mort man pud ug nganong na-ingani ko. I'm well aware nga magkalisod among sitwasyon since ako gaeskwela pa sya kay gatrabaho na. We've talk about this for I don't know how many times already. I also made him promise not to cheat on me and to wait for me to finish my studies. But look who's talking. I am so ashame of myself. For Roy's side, di ko sure ug angay ba nako syang basulon. Kabalo sya nga uyab mi sa iyang bestfriend so what's with his concern? Or maybe I am just overreacting towards Roy's kindness. Just damn! So ff. First semesters done. 2nd anniversary na namong Mort. Niadto ko sa iyang working place ug gadala ko ug pagkaon niya. To be precise rice ug iyang fave nga sud-an, adobong manok. Pareho ming dili materialistic. Mas ganahan mi maka-receive ug something nga made with effort. Maong nagpatudlo jud kong ante nako luto ug adobo since nagka-kami ni Mort kay ganahan ko nga akoy magluto para niya especially sa occasion like this. I texted him to meet me quickly kay daan na syang ni-sorry nga di jud mi magkakuyog sa among anniv kay on-duty sya. Na-immune na ko so instead nga manluod ako laman sya gihatdan ug pagkaon. I'm on the run man gud pud kay si Roy ganahan makigkita nako kay naa daw syay isulti. I don't feel good about it maong i'm doing everything to avoid him today or even for the rest of the days. I really don't want to cheat on Mort. He's too good to be cheated on. So balik ta's topic. Dugay2 sad kong naghulat ni Mort unya pagkita pajud namos lobby murag problematic kaayo iyang itsura. The way he stares at me is very strange. He never looked at me that way. Full of love and sincerity jud na iyang mata sa una basta mututok sya nako. He even approached me coldly. I noticed nga his whole body is shaking. Niduko rasad sya ug heavy kaayo iyang pag-breath. I asked him kung okay ra ba sya, kung unsay problema, or kung I did something wrong. He only said no and ni-sorry before ko niya gi-walk-out-tan. I was so shock maong dugay ko nakalihok. Ako syang gigukod. Misty na akong mata kay kahilakon kaayo ko. He's walking so fast maong didto na sya nako naapsan dapit sa parking lot. Good thing medyo secluded ang place so maka-talk jud ming duha in private. (This is not exactly how we said everything kay di na kaayo nako ma-recall tanan. But this is the thought of our conversation.) Ako: Babe, unsa may problema? Sya: Diba niingon ko nimo nga busy ko ron? Nganong nianhi man ka? (Iyang tingog kay luya pa sa tanang luya) Ako: upset ka nga nianhi ko? Maong imo nalang kong gibyaan didto ganiha? Sya: please. Ugma ra nato ni istoryahan. (He's already pleading.) Ako: Kabalo ba ka nga nag-effort ko para ihatig ni nimo unya ing-anion rako nimo? (I handed him the food i prepared and i'm already crying. Sya: please, Car. Stress na ko kaayo. Ayaw na ug dugangi. He doesn't look pissed or what. He actually look so stressed and not in his right mind but I was hurt after he called me Car. Since nagka-uyab mi mao ni ang first time nga iya kong gi-address sa akong ngalan maong naguol ko kaayo. Out of anger I spill harsh words. I broke up with him. Na-disappoint ko kay igo rajud sya nagpatulo sa iyang luha ug nitando. Wala sya ni-dili. He agreed right away. As in na-hurt pag-ayo akong pride so bisan pa ug ganahan kaayo ko bawion akong gisulti nilakaw nalang ko. Didto ko naka-experience anang maglakaw sa public nga lugar while gabakho ug hilak. Wala ko ga-expect nga ing-ani ang mahitabo. Naluya ko tantong hinilak nako maong nihunong jud ko sa bench nga walay tawo. I'm trying to calm myself. I can't go home like this. I don't know ug unsa na ko kadugay gapungko sa bench until naay motor nihunong sa akong atubangan. Nakulbaan pa ko kay niduol nako ang laki nga ga-helmet. Ready najud kong musyagit ug wala nako masimhutan ang familiar nga baho sa perfume. I found out that it's Roy after he removed his helmet. Wa ko kapalag atong iya kung gisuotan ug helmet dayon gipalasti sa iyang motor, I mean kabalo ko nga sa iya ning barkada. Wala jud mi nag-istoryahanay while ga-drive sya. Wala sad ko nipalag nga iyang giwrap akong kamot sa iyang hawak. I even lean my head on his back. Ug gasugod nasad ug tulo akong mga luha. Bisan atong nihunong sya sa park gabakho japon ko ug hilak. Wala niya gitangtang akong helmet. Instead iya kong giingnan nga padayon ra ko ug hilak while he's busy patting my shoulder. I am having ramdom thoughts. This time bothered nasad ko kaayo. Daghan kaayong what if's nga nasulod sa akong utok. Asta akong mga gipunggan nga kalagot towards Mort kay nigawas. Nagsagol tanan nakong emotions. Disappointed kaayo kong Mort and at the same time gamahay ko pag-ayo sa akong desisyon nga gihimo maong nakasulti jud ko'g di nako angay isulti. ""Let's sleep together."" I saw how flustered Roy was when I said that. But after a while he managed to remain calm. Wala nasad mi nagka-istoryahanay duha. Lutang na ko kaayo. Namahala nalang jud ko. But that night, gihatod ko ni Roy sa balay safe and sound. Untouched. First thing nga akong gibuhat pagsulod sa kwarto kay akong giukay akong cellphone. No miscalls no texts. So Mort's not even sorry. He really made up his mind. And the thought broke my heart into pieces. Ff. Medyo nakaget-over na ko sa among break up ni Mort. Maka-smile nasad ko'g balik. That's all thanks to Roy. His been there since day 1. Day 1 sa akong pag-move on. Actually, wala sya'y gisulti nga iya kong tabangan ug move on. He only offered that he'll be with me while I need someone to lean on kay to be honest, wala koy ma-consider as bestfriend but I have a lot of friends ofcourse. Lahi raman gud nang naa kay bestfriend ba. Too bad I was very fond of Mort before that I end up considering him as my everything. That I can live just with him. I was wrong though. Back to Roy. He spoils me with food especially sweets and ice cream. Consistent kaayo na sya sa paghatod-sundo nako. Welcome sad kaayo syang mu-pay ug visit nako sa balay since nananghid sya mismo ni Kuya. Kuya knows man pud nga amigo ra ming Roy. But the truth is, while i'm on the process of moving on, my heart is also giving in. Kabalo na mo ug unsay pasabot ana. Di man gud nako sya mapugngan. It just happened. But ofcourse wala nako ni gisulting Roy. Maulaw ra japon ko hantod ron sa akong gisulti niya atong time nga nagbulag ming Mort. I'm trying my very best nga dili ipahalata ni Roy kung unsa na sya ka special nako. Di ko ganahan ma-awkward ming duha. Yes, I know that somehow there's a possibility that Roy likes me too. Pero bestfriend silang Mort. THAT'S THAT! During night outs, when his friends asks him kung kami na ba he'll insist we're not and how on earth can we date each other daw nga I am his bestfriend's ex. I am Mort's ex. What else can I do diba? Syempre mu-agree rajud pud ko. But his friends wont just leave us alone. Kana bang pirmi nalang jud mi nilang bantayan. Sa akong side, sakit kay naa gud koy feelings ni Roy. I have this, ""why can't we just date?"" thought. I mean, is it really wrong or Roy doesn't like me that much? Until uska gabie, debut sa manghod ni Roy. I wasn't expecting nga iya kung dal-on sa *where he really lives*. Iya man gud giingon kay muadto rami's uska certain place to relieve stress and to celebrate kay nakamove-on najud daw ko. I didn't know nga diri ko niya dal-on. I must say nga iyang family kay kinda intimidating. May kaya jud sila's kinabuhi. Maila ra sa ambiance sa ilang balay. Pero atong iya nakong gipaila-ila sa iyang family na at ease na ko gamay kay they are really welcoming. Just like Mort's family. And speaking of Mort. Shock kaayo ko nga niabot sya out of the blue sa party. Atol pa nga wala si Roy. And he did saw me maong iya kong giduol. My God! Wala ko kabalo kung asa sya gikan sa iyang courage nga muduol ug muistorya nako. He's so insensitive. Hell yes i'm doing good now but seeing him can still cause me a lot of pain. Not because I still love him but it's because his been a part of me. Plastic kaayo akong smile. I even laugh sarcastically when he said it must be fate for us to meet again. How stupid diba? It's not fate for chrissake! Nagkita mi kay gidala ko diri ni Roy and he's here kay someone have had invited him. But guess what surprised me the most. It's the fact that the person who invited him is Roy. I was really going to throw a fit that night but I stayed calm. Di ko ganahan ma-badshot sa pamilya ni Roy. Di sad ko ganahan nga ako ra ang makaguba sa birthday party sa iyang manghod. How can just a random person like me do that diba? So bisag lagot na kaayo ko gikalma rajud nako akong self. Tubay sa mga istorya ni Mort. Listening to him that he can't believe how close I am to Roy already. Roy on the other hand is acting so weird. He hardly speak. If he's annoyed kay sige mi'g istoryahanay ni Mort why on earth did he invite him then? Damn Everyone's enjoying the night aside from me. Lami kaayo sampalungon si Mort when he asked me for a dance. I have no one to save me from this cliche situation maong makigsayaw na unta ko niya pero gigunitan ni Roy akong kamot ug gipapungko ko'g balik. I looked at him. I don't know pero murag tense sya lantawon. ""Storya sa ta bro."" That's exactly what Roy said usa silang duha nanulod sa balay. I was left there feeling so damn nervous. Ganahan kaayo ko nga sundan sila pero mas gipili nako ang dili manghilabot. I patiently waited for them to come back. Ug nakatindog jud kog ahat atong nakit-an na nako silang duha nga pagawas. They both look fine pero ang expression sa face ni Mort dili na pareha ganiha. His face turned out to be so gloomy. Pero pagbalik niya's table namo kay ni-smile sya nako. Daghan kaayo kong ganahan ipangutana niya pero wala ko kabalo kung unsaon nako sya pag-approach so nibalik nalang ko'g pungko. Sige ko'g pangita ni Roy kay wala man sya nidiretso diri ganiha paggawas nilang Mort. I saw him a while ago talking to his dad but now he's nowhere to be found. Until Mort sigh heavily and told me someone's waiting for me outside. I know nga harsh kaayo akong gibuhat. Ni-thank you rako niya ug gadali-dali ko'g gawas. Roy's there. He smiled usa sya niduol nako ug gisuotan kog Helmet. Iya kong gidala sa uska open beach. What's funny is that we're still wearing our helmets. Ga-stroll mi's daplin dagat while naa'y helmet ang ulo. Lol! We talked about random stuffs. Laughed as if I didn't hate him a while ago. Smiled like nothings wrong. Pero wala ko ga-expect atong iyang gigunitan akong kamot. REAL TIGHT! Wala ko kabalo kung pila ka minutes ang nilabay usa ko naka-recover. I mean my heart is still making a fuss though. Mas nakulbaan ko kay wala gaistorya si Roy. Hapit nalang mi makabalik sa iyang giparkingan sa motor pero hilom rajud kaayo ming duha. Gatoo gani kog wala rajud sya'y iistorya pero nihangyo sya nga mamungko sa mi. He removed his helmet as well as mine. Nanginit jud akong nawong kay bisag ngitngit sa among gipungkuan nakita jud nako kung unsa sya kagwapo pag-smile niya nako. Dugangan pa nga iya nasad gigunitan akong kamot. So wa najud ko kaagwanta. Nangutana najud ko niya ug unsay problema. He started telling me about Mort. Ako daw ilang giistoryahan ganiha pero wala niya gisulti in details. Wala nalang sad ko nangulit. Ako ra syang gipapadayon ug sulti. Hantod nga ni-confess najud sya. Wa daw niya tuyua ug wala jud daw sya'y plano ma-inlove nako. At first, ganahan rajud daw kaayo sya mutabang nako kay uyab ko ni Mort. He get used on taking care and looking after me in behalf of Mort. But he fell for me unexpectedly and he became guilty big time. Nakahunahuna daw sya nga iwasan ko kay di sya ganahan traydoron si Mort. The thing is he can't, just like I do. ""Let's give it a try, Caren."" Without further ado, ako syang gisugot ana nga gabie. I told him nga we should keep it private sa. I-enjoy lang sa namo nga uyab mi without telling anyone. Murag early paman gud kaayo para makauyab ko ug usob samot na kay bestfriend pajud sa akong ex. Oo selfish paminawon pero ma-blame ba ko ninyo? Di sad ko ganahan nga mapressure ming duha ni Roy especially kay bag-o paming nagkauyab. And we wont keep this secret forever. We'll just wait for the right time to spill everything about us. And speaking of us. Okay raman ang lagan sa among relasyon. We fight often but I must say nga happy kaayo ko. God knows how much happiness Roy brought to my life. He's my happy pill. Bisan ug pareho ming busy sa among study mangita jud syag way aron magkakuyog ming duha. When i'm down or mad, he'll just appear from nowhere bringing foods to bribe me. He's quite a perfect boyfriend. And that's when I decided to stop keeping our relationship as a secret. But fate just wont let me. Nothings going as I planned. Si kuya kay always wala sa balay. I'm well aware nga gakatulugan sya sa balay ni ate Rhe, iyang uyab. Sila sad mama ug papa pirming busy maong di magkatugma among free time inig ganahan ko makig-video call. Mort at the same time has a busy schedule. Di sad nako masamok si Roy ga-study na sya for our finals. Ako na gani syang sawayon kay magsige syag reklamo nga labad iyang ulo tungod sige'g pulaw ug tuon. So I gave it up and ni-focus nalang sad sa pagtuon. Everything has it's perfect time. Very Ff. Graduation na namo pagka-ugma. Mupaso najud tawon ko. And finally masulti najud namo ni Roy ang about namong duha. Niuli silang mama ug papa kay syempre graduation nako. Kuya will be there too, that's for sure. Mort? He already had Roy's heads up and he texted me he'll come. Excited na kaayo ko. I don't know why pero proud ra kaayo ko nga uyab nako si Roy. Basin sad mao ni ang way para mawalaan gamay iyang kakapoy nga nafeel nowadays. During finals nahalata man gud nako nga haggard jud kaayo si Roy. He even loss weight. He's trying his very best para rajud maka-graduate and that made me so proud. So this is the least I could do for him. ""Car, pwede adto sa ta's balay?"" ""Yeah sure."" I've been to there house a couple of times already. Balay sa iyang tita ha. But wala kabalo iyang tita ug tito nga uyab ming duha. Anyways, pag-abot namos balay sa tita ni Roy kabantay ko nga nigamit sya'g yabi. So way tawo. Nangutana ko ug asa iyang tita ug tito pero wa ko niya tubaga. Instead iya kong gidala sa iyang kwarto. Pagsulod namo he directly kissed me. It's like he's in a rush. Agressive sad kaayo iyang mga lihok. I find it so weird kay everytime he'll kiss me he's very gentle jud. Kana bang murag mahadlok muhikap nako. But now, his hands are busy exploring my body. Wala na gani ko nakabantay nga naa nami's bed and he's on top of me na. He fully undressed me while muttering ""I love you"" continuously. When he undressed his self mura kog naulaw. Hellish ug yummy kaayo si Roy from head to toe. Ako nalang gud gitabunan akong kaugalingon kay flat jud ko. Shit! Hahahaha. "I just want to feel you. Di man kinahanglan nga naa'y mahitabo nato. Tell me when to stop, okay?" Wala sya nilihok. He just stared at me. Gahulat sa akong tubag. I closed and my eyes and breathe heavily. Gigunitan ni Roy akong nawong and he kissed me quickly. I can't think straight. All I know is that I love Roy. I love to do it with him. I just want him. Only him. "I won't stop you, Roy. Just take me." And that night, Roy took my virginity. Yes, Roy is my first. Mag-make out man sad mi sa una ni Mort pero he promised nga di ko niya hilabtan not unless kasal na mi. Aware si Roy mga virgin pa ko and kapila najud ming ga make-out. Ana sya nga di daw sya magduhaduha once hatagan na nako syag signal nga ready na ko. Pero wala ko ga-expect nga mao nato ang first ug last nga maka make-love ming duha ni Roy. Human man gud sa graduation ceremony wala na sya nagpakita nako. Instead, si Mort ang nakigkita nako ana nga gabie. Graduation kaayo pero gihatagan ko niya'g bad news. Nga mao daw wala na nagpakita nako's Roy kay nidiretso na ug uli kuyog iyang mommy ug daddy sa ilaha. "Actually Car, sakit kaayo inyong gibuhat nako. Daghan kaayo kong mahay and God knows kung kapila na nako gipatay si Roy sa akong hunahuna. I mean nganong nadevelop pa man mo sa usa'g-usa? Pero nahitabo na man. Akong gidawat bisan lisod. Gatoo gani ko ug kaya na nako pero atong nakita tikaw sa ila ni Roy, lipay kaayo ko. Not until nakig-istorya si Roy nako ug nananghid nga ganahan syang manguyab nimo. Kung wala rajud sya'y cancer di jud ko magduhaduha ato ug kulata niya. Pero mas gipili nako nga murespetar sa among pag-amigohay. Usa pa kabalo ko nga gugma sad sya nimo so bisan sakit ni let go ko, Car. Not just because he is sick. I also know nga happy na ka with him. Ug karon, mas kinahanglan ni Roy imong prayers para sa iyang recovery, Car. Hate him not for long and try to understand him from now on until he come back." I was just crying. Wala koy masulti. I hated myself for not noticing how sick Roy is. Gatoo jud ko'g due to stress ra tong iyang labad sa ulo ug ang kalit niyang pagniwang. I have no idea nga naa diay sya'y cancer. Mort explained nga ang real reason jud daw maong gipatransfer si Roy sa iyang daddy diri tungod kay kapila na sya nadisgrasya tungod anang mu-apil2 ug drag race unya mukalit ra'g tukar ang sakit sa iyang ulo. Di man sad daw ganahan magpa-treat si Roy kay mas dali daw syang mamatay ug naa sya's ospital. They both even dream to be a nurse not until Roy discovered he has a cancer. Since then, Roy hated hospitals. But surprisingly, weeks ago, giadto daw sya ni Roy sa ila ug nihangyo nga bantayan sa ko while wala sya. Ganahan daw sya mu-try ug survive para nako. He want to fight for his life for me. I just cry even harder when Mort handed me a letter. It's from Roy saying, ""You're too lazy to read so i'll keep it short. Just wait for me, love. I won't promise to come back but i'll try. Mort's the only person I trust so be with him 'til I come back. I love you, Caren." Ff. Dugay2 sad kong naghulat ni Roy. Walay adlaw nga wala nako sya giampo. But life's so cruel. After 2 months gi-inform nalang ko ni Mort nga wala na's Roy. Imbes nga gaplano ko mu-take ko ug bar exam wala nalang ko nidayon kay nahugno nasad akong kalibutan. Hilak ra ko nga hilak atong gipakita ni Mort nako ang gi-sent ni Roy nga video. He's wearing face mask. He look so thin. He look so sick and it breaks my heart big time. ""Maot na kaayo ko, love. Di na ko ang gwapo ug hot nimong uyab oh. Gina-try jud nako nga maayo love pero ako namang lawas mismo ang mu-give up. Kapoy najud love. Malignant nasad akong cancer. Sorry ha kung daghan kaayo kong excuses atong imo na unta kong ipa-ila2 nilang mama ug papa nimo. Di nako deserve nga ipailaila tungod aning akong sakit. Shit kaayo love. Ganahan kaayo ko nga magkakuyog pa ta pero magselos man si lord. Ganahan na man syang magkakuyog mi. So love, if muabot ang day nga makita nimo ning video i'm sure wala na ko. But please don't look for me. Ayaw ug adto sa amo. Hangyo lang nako na love. I want to remain sexy in your imagination. Not someone who's been cremated. You can cry as much as you want love. But don't be lonely for too long. I still want you to be happy. I love you so much, Car. Kaayo nga karon palang guol na kaayo ko. I'm sorry, Car. I love you. I love you."" Seeing how hard it is for Roy to say those things really tortured me. The sound of his sobs really break my heart into pieces. The guy I love is already gone. Sa una basta maglantaw ko'g movie unya naa'y scene nga mamatay ang baye or laki di jud ko makahilak kay lagi I thought absurd ra kaayo nga mahitabo in real life. But it's happening to me and Roy. We had a very short whirlwind romace that ended as a tragic story. I'm still mourning until now. Roy's still in my heart pero gahinayhinay na ko ug bangon. I will carry this pain forever but I should start living my life like a normal person. Mort and I are good friends now. We both decided not to have special feelings towards each other anymore. Mort will only remind me of Roy and that would be so unfair. I don't know what life may bring but i'll just go with the flow. Focus lang sa ko ron sa pagtuon before ko mu-take ug board exam. I'll pursue my dreams for Roy. To Roy my love: You left way to early love. Unfair sad kay wala man lang kay gibilin nako. God knows how insanely i'd wish that I am pregnant but i'm not. But really, I have no regrets. You were the best thing that had happened to me, love. Losing you is very traumatizing. I just hope i'll get to know someone like you, sooner or later. Please don't get tired on looking after me. I'll just assume that you're around whenever there's a storm. Storm kay hangin ka kaayo's tanan. Still, I love you so much Roy. Til we meet again.